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Does your child struggle with self-esteem? Many kids do. Often parents forget how hard it is being a kid. Many of us feel that because children don’t have to worry about the mortgage or other ‘grown-up’ concerns being a kid is easy. It’s not! But there are some simple things you can do as a parent to help.
I’m Georgia-based school assembly performer Ken Scott. For the past 30 years, I’ve delivered inspiring and fun educational school assemblies to schools in GA, FL, AL, and TN. Each month I craft articles on important topics for parents and school administrators.
First, it’s important to understand what healthy self-esteem is. I’m a parent too, so knowing this helped our family guide our children in the right direction. When a child is born, they are completely self-centered. They feel that their needs should come first. That’s simply the result of their very early developmental stage.
As they get older, developmentally healthy children learn the world does not revolve around them. A child who is confident and has healthy self-esteem can go through the world with their head held high. They can feel good about themselves and help others do the same.
Being a parent is challenging. After raising three girls, I know how tough it can be! But my wife and I always watch what we say around our kids. We are careful not to lash out in the heat of the moment. Words have power.
In an episode of the TV sitcom “American Housewife,” teen Taylor thinks she’s helping wash the family car…by scrubbing it with steel wool. If that happened in real life, it would be easy for a parent to yell, “Why would you do something so stupid?” But by doing that, you’d be sending an enormously harmful message to your child.
This may sound obvious. But watch yourself with sarcasm, too. Telling your child sarcastically, “Don’t worry about the car. I’ll just warn your next family when I drop you off to them.” Is harmful too. A child’s cognitive development is not developed enough to completely process sarcasm of all types until they are around the age of nine or ten.
Watch what you say to your child. Especially in the heat of the moment.
Chores are an excellent way to build self-confidence in a child. It gives them something to accomplish. Chores also teach your child responsibility. The key to assigning chores properly is to make sure your child understands they are not punishment. Chores are assigned for your child to help out around the house. And chores have another benefit, too. They help your child have a feeling of control over aspects of their lives. It’s one step toward the independence they will need to live on their own.
When your child completes their chores, be sure to praise them. If they didn’t do something correctly, be sure to praise the effort. Tell them they’ll get better because practice, as we know, makes perfect.
Telling your child they are awesome may seem like the right thing to do. After all, you’re their parent. Shouldn’t you be their biggest fan? The answer is a little complicated. Praising your child unconditionally can backfire in surprising ways.
If you tell your child they are doing great even when they’re not, you might be planting the seeds for your child believing they can do no wrong. It’s okay to praise the effort but encourage improvement.
Self-confidence comes from failing to do something but not giving up. Overcoming our failures helps us build self-confidence. Encourage your child to keep trying. That’s what matters.
Society has shifted. It seems that many people think we should wrap our kids in bubble wrap to protect them. They should never have to encounter the harsh realities of the world. You’ve heard of the “blue ribbon for every child” idea so much that it’s a cliche at this point.
But shielding your child and trying to keep them from failing or experiencing negative emotions only stunts them. Without learning to fall down (metaphorically), your child will grow up ill-prepared to live in the real world.
So let your child try things and fail. Praise their efforts. Be sure to help them dust themselves off and try again.
Want to give your child’s school some great life lessons while having fun? My “The Magic in You” is the perfect school assembly on character education for your school. It’s filled with magic, join-in fun, and lessons to help your kids build healthy self-esteem. Get more information today about this exceptional program.